Five Things I Never Expected To Learn As A Postgrad

Some things you are told to expect in brochure, at induction, or somewhere in the mountains of paperwork. Some things you pick up from popular culture, or from stories about someone's cousin's friend who did this PhD thing. So coming into postgrad life, you expect to learn a whole lot of things - this is, after all, a 'learning experience.'

This is a list of five things that I didn't expect to learn as a postgrad: 

1. That being pragmatic about what you need to know is more important than knowing everything.

When I began my PhD, I had visions of spending a lot of time in a coffee shop, spending hours on end reading - and finally understanding - Lacan and Butler and Deleuze, etc, etc. Maybe Paris was involved somehow. I had my one month of Sir Walter Scott obsession, I found out more than I really needed to know about pre-Federation South Australian politics. Now, I try to identify what I need to know, flick through and index or skim-read till I find it, chuck it into the chapter and Endnote and move on. I still don't fully get Lacan but I think I get what I need to know, and that kind of ruthless pragmatism might get me to the end of this thing.

2. That supervisors aren't psychic - and this is both a Good and Bad thing.

Hands up all those people who have quaked in terror at the idea of passing their supervisor in the corridor, convinved that from a 'hi' and a head nod they will instantly be able to discern how much work you have (or haven't) done. It doesn't actually work like that (though turning around and running away may be slightly suggestive). As a supervisee, you have to say what is going on, have to say when you are having problems and what those problems are. The fact that your supervisor can't tell this by looking at you is good (because you can occasionally get away with having a take-it-easy week) and bad (because you have to take responsibility for communicating in verbal or written form rather than just sending out vibes).

3. That warnings about taking breaks from staring at the computer screen and stretching do actually apply to you.

It isn't just other people who get stuffed up necks and eye strain and headaches. So step away from the computer once an hour, stretch, refocus, remind yourself that there is this thing called outside and daylight. You are not the one special person these warnings don't apply to. Trust me on this. Trust my physio on this.

4. That procrastination can take you to very strange places.

So far, I've become an instant expert on the Tour de France, watched all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, compiled way too many iTunes playlists, started two vegetable gardens and much more. I'd like to call this becoming a more rounded person, but it's just procrastination. However, if you can find something you want to do even less than your thesis, doing the thesis becomes procrastination - so procrastination is really work. Really. 

5. That finishing is as scary as not finishing. 

Not finishing - that's obviously scary. Failure and having to face the 'real' world and all that badness. But finishing means putting three or four years of work up for judgement. It means that bit you meant to get absolutely perfect might have to be left at okay. It means job searchs in a limited market. It means facing life after the thesis, and when you have reached the point where that is one of the major ways you define yourself, that is scary.