The PhD Student's Anthem
This song began its life as a lab song describing the windowless, hopeless, depressing life in my dank laboratory. It was only recently that I realized that most, if not all PhD students would be able to relate to my experiences, except perhaps the Vitamin D deficiency caused by living in a windowless lab. There's even an audio version of this around but I keep tight control of it, since hearing my singing would equate to torture and we all know torture was outlawed by the Geneva Convention.
Without further delay, here it is in all its glory, the PhD Blues(C)
The PhD Blues
(sung to the tune of “Folsom Prison Blues”)*
I see the deadlines comin’
They’re rollin’ round the bend
and I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when
I’m stuck in postgrad study, and time keeps draggin’ on
But those deadlines keep a comin’, on down to separation
When I was just a newbie, my Prof he told me son
Always be a good boy and don’t ever fail a one
But I set a tough assignment, just to watch hope die
When I hear the complaints comin’ I hang my head and cry
Well I bet there’s workers’ dining in a fancy cocktail bar
They’re probably drinking Bacardi, and smoking big cigars
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can’t be free
But those people keep a earnin’
and that’s what tortures me…
Well if they’d free me from this project
If that PhD was mine
I bet I’d move away from Ramen noodles all the time
Far from postgad study, that’s where I want to stay
And I’d let financial freedom, blow my blues away…
* With apologies to Mr. Johnny Cash
Comment Notification
If you would like to receive an email when updates are made to this post, please register here
Subscribe to this post's comments using
Comments
Leave a Comment
About Benjamin J
Ah a bio, how self indulgent...
Anyway my illustrious (read short and banal) career begins in a strange mansion that we fled to after the bombings of London. In this mansion was a mysterious professor and a strange old wardrobe...
No actually that's the Chronicle's of Narnia. A lot more interesting than a PhD student's bio though. Anyway if you've read this far your either engaged in deep procrastination or actually enjoyed my attempt at humour. If it's the latter, there's a nice man in a white coat I'd like you to meet. He has a fashionable tight fitting white jacket for you and wants to show you to a lovely padded room.
For those of you still reading, GET BACK TO YOUR THESIS! Sorry, they make the Postgraduate President say that. Did I mention that I was the 2006 Postgraduate President? I was never a stickler for the details.
Yep, a former Postgraduate President. What does that mean? It means I wasn't satisfied with the mountain of work you get as a PhD student and thought "more work for minimal pay, how can I refuse?".Because psychoses love company you know...
So if you're still reading this far, you are completely caught in a spiral of inactivity and may as well learn something about me (Useful for exactly nothing and thus perfect for procrastination purposes).
I'm a fully qualified Speech Pathologist which means that most people assume I studied for four years to learn to say "How now brown cow". That's entirely untrue, I can also give a mean rendition of "she sells sea shells by the sea shore". At this point you might also be asking why I gave up a job that has at its best paid over $250 an hour for the postgraduate lifestyle? It's the women. That's right, women dig postgrads. Ok that's a horrible lie but I couldn't come up with a real reason and if I actually start thinking about how much money I could make, my thesis would be in danger.
So, I study language development. That's right, the Federal government pays me to play with Lego. And perhaps there is the reason, for where else could you get paid to play with Lego? Oh that's right, as a Speech Pathologist earning a lot more money. Shut up brain...
Anyway to those who made it this far, I hope you appreciate my efforts to support your procrastination. For if I can do nothing else as postgraduate student, I will know I've made a difference.